I аm thе dad wіth domicile custody οf mу 2 kids. Thеу live wіth mе. Mу ex-wife gets thеm еνеrу οthеr weekend. Shе hаѕ 3 warrants out fοr hеr arrest. Shе іѕ living out οf a tent wіth hеr boyfriend іn ѕοmе ones backyard аnd sometimes a motel.
A policeman (a friend οf mine) tοld mе thеу сουld possibly take mу kids away frοm mе іf thеу know I аm letting thе kids gο wіth hеr. Fοr thе reasons above. Now thе custody order ѕауѕ ѕhе gets thе kids еνеrу οthеr weekend.
Dο I keep thе kids wіth mе аnd gο against thе order, οr Dο I lеt thеm gο wіth hеr? Cаn thеу take mу kids away frοm mе іf I lеt thеm gο?
I аm representing myself, I hаνе already bееn awarded domicile custody. I саnnοt afford a lawyer. Shе hаѕ nοt bееn paying hеr child support payments, Legal aid wіll nοt hеlр mе. I know іf ѕhе decides tο call thе police іf I dο nοt lеt hеr hаνе thе kids, ѕhе wіll bе arrested bесаυѕе οf thе warrants.
Anу hеlр οn whаt tο dο, Or whаt уου wουld dο іn mу situation?
Thanks fοr уουr hеlр.
Chances are she cannot afford a lawyer herself, so go request an EMERGENCY STOP VISITATION ORDER at the court you originally got your custody order at.
I am not sure if that is what it is called, but that should work & cover your tail.
May help your cause if you lose the Skull and crossbones avatar ,not very adult and responsible of you. . . .
You should call an attorney’s office and ask them about the laws in your state, they will tell you for free over the phone if they can take the kids. Personally, I do not think that I would allow the children to go with her if they are living in a tent, etc. Can she not just come and visit the children while they are with you? At least then you would know that they can see their mother and they would still be safe. Good luck.
I can’t give legal advice, but just based on morals, why would you want your kids living in that squalor? If possible, I ‘d photograph her living conditions (for documentation). I would think that would be all you’d need. Then, if she does get to see the kids, hopefully the courts wouldn’t award “overnight” visits. Best of luck to your family =)
(in addition, I’d still seek the help of an attorney . . maybe they can do something Pro-Bono. Maybe your cop friend knows someone?)
You don’t let them go, you go back to friend of court, with copies of her warrants. And explain her living situation. You don’t need a lawyer. You shouldn’t have a problem showing she is unfit.
Id post this in the legal section also.
Call your local police station and try and sort it out. In my opinion, I’d go against the court order. The only way you’d get in trouble if you did that would be if she filed for contempt. She can’t do that without going through the courts, so they would arrest her if they are looking for her. Best of Luck and God Bless!!
I would consult the social services in your state to find out if you can withhold unsupervised visitation because of her living situation. They may decide that she can only have supervised visits, or they may take further action. Either way, I would file a complaint with social services, it can be anonymous. Hope this helps! Good luck and God bless.
Protect your babies at all costs. If you feel they are in danger or not being taken care of there. (Which sounds like the case. ) You should call authorities and tell them situation. I bet they would know exactly what to do. Tell the cops where she is so they can pick her up for her warrants. It may buy you some time until you can work something out? Just my opinion, it sounds like a really hard and sad situation. Good luck and God bless!
I’m sorry to hear you are going through this, but if you have an order that states that she gets the children every other weekend then until you go back to court to have it amended then you have to hold to that order. I would apply for a new court date as soon as you possibly could sighting new unsafe conditions with the mother while the children are in her care that you didn’t know existed until recently. No judge in his/ her right mind is going to hold the weekend order if she is living in a tent! good luck and god bless!
It sounds like it would be in the best interest if you kept the kids from her. You would be in contempt of a court order, but does that really matter compared to the well being of your children. I personally would keep the kids from her and cut all ties with her. If she can’t afford a place to live, then she can’t afford to hire an attorney and take you to court. And if you can afford it, just forget about the child support.
Good Luck!!!
Go against the order. I will see you on “Judge Judy”
My mom is a foster parents and works for CPS and yes they will take your kids away from you if you let them see her. Why would you let your kids stay in a tent or crappy motel with a lady with warrents. Obviously the next time she comes to pick up the kids or tells you where to meet her call the police on her ass and have her picked up. Therefore you did your part as a dad and as a citizen and the courts will lift the vistations if she is in jail duh. Why you haven’t turned her in yet I don’t know but you should. Also since you are a single parent and if she was in jail and CPS knew of the situation they could get you help like child support from the government since she is in jail and food stamps and free daycare. Call them and ask for free advice what to do. And why would you have to represent yourself in court all because you cannot afford a lawyer? There are pro bono lawyers for one for two why don’t you have a court appointed lawyer???
Anways Good Luck
i’m in the same situation as you. you, by law, do NOT have to give your kids up to her if you feel they my be in danger or compromised for whatever reason. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! everything regarding her living situation and whatnot so if you do have to go to court, you will be well prepared! my son’s father is an alcoholic and lives with 5 other guys. . . i do not allow my son to go with him if he smells of alcohol and i do not allow him to spend the night due to heavy partying at the house. the court agrees with me. you know what is in the best interest of your child and if you feel your children will not be safe, then by all means do not let them go. good luck to you!
Do whats best for your kids! Do you really want your children sleeping in a tent next to your ex-wife’s boyfriend? Just keep them with you and then if the cops come explain to them why you are! It should work
Hmmm. Maybe you could just go ahead and anonymously give the police her location so that they can pick her up on the warrants. Then the children won’t have to go see her at some God-awful flea infested tent! How sad is that? If/When she goes before a judge for the warrants, you could bring up the fact that she’s not paying child support. I honestly don’t know how all that stuff works though. I’m sorry. I wish you nothing but the best of luck in this situation.
As hard as it may be you might want to call the cops and tell them where she is so she can do the time for the warrants and start fresh. Why would you let your children go to some sleazy motel or in a tent with her and her man? Those are your kids as much as they are hers, and I’m sorry I would not feel comfortable knowing my kids are sleeping in some motel. Chances are they are not staying at the 4 Seasons if she can’t even afford an apartment, so who knows what is going on in these motels. I have worked at motels and my friend does now and she always tells me hoe there’s a bunch of drugs and prostitutes in them. For the sake of your children, you may just have to let her do her time, maybe then she will think about the lack of direction in her life and why she has a man but has no apartment if she and him are perfectly capable of working. Sounds like laziness to me. Good Luck!
Since you are aware of what is going on, you should contact CPS so they can investigate. Otherwise, you may both be out of luck when it comes to custody.
If she has warrents for child abuse, then yes, they could take the kids because you are knowingly putting them in harms way.
Just because she is living in a tent in someone’s back yard, or living in a motel does not give them rights to take the kids away from you. Any child that goes camping or on vacation lives in that situation for the week or whatnot, so it is like camping to them. A parent must provide food, shelter, and clothing. Which I assume she does while she has them.
If YOU feel it is an unsafe situation, the boyfriend seems abusive, or the people that she lives with are doing drugs or some such thing, then you have every right to pettition the court for a change in the arrangement. Perhaps no overnights. Perhaps supervised.
Have you talked to her about it? Asked her what her goals are? Why have you not told them where she is at so that she can get through this warrent thing and she can move forward with her life and turn it around?
There is plenty that you can do. It’s all your choice though.
Good luck.
What does the custody agreement say about what qualifies as a safe living environment for the kids?
My cousin lost custody of his kids while he & their mother were living in a tent in a state park, so I do agree with your policeman friend. The courts can say it’s not an appropriate living environment. If it’s defined in your custody agreement, then you would NOT be violating the order by not allowing your kids to stay with your ex in that situation.
Since you cannot afford a lawyer, I would just call the judge’s office — whoever handled the original agreement. Explain that your ex is not making support payments and is living in a tent, and that you need to know what your obligations are in terms of keeping the children safe. Have them put it in writing and send it to you. Then follow the instructions.
You might also consider calling Child Protective Services and asking if they have a court advocate who can help you figure out a way to keep your children in your safe home and away from your ex-wifes unsafe situation.
No, they can’t take them, technically, because there are court documents stating that you have to let her have them. CPS can take thwm while in her custody if they are being neglected. If I were you, I would not let the kids go with her until she gets back on her feet. If she doesn’t or won’t, then I would also file to modify her visitation rights.
This is tricky if you violate the custody order you could loose custody she won’t get them because of her situation. You need to go back to court and request supervised visits because her living arrangments are unstable. She will have to prove she has residents. You are letting them go into an unsafe and bad environement by letting them go with her but that is the order so it is hard. Why don’t you call the police and tell them where she is then she will get arrested and you don’t have to take them to her
You do not have to send your children into a situation where they could be in danger. I advise you call your local CPS and county sheriff’s department as well as the child support desk. If she is not paying support, has warrants, and is living in filth you could get in trouble for allowing your children into that situation. Good luck!
So represent yourself again and bring up drug charges and whatever else she does to revoke her visitation. See if her parental rights can be strippped, then do it. Good luck. Let her call the police. She dug this hole for herself. If she didn’t like her life like it is, she’d change it. I’m guessing she does drugs. If she didn’t like doing them, she’d do things to stop.
call cps and tell them the situation and they will give you the correct way to handle this just play dumb and dont tell them that you let them go with her already she can offer that info and she will have the problem knowing that she put the children in danger in her custody.
It is very likely that you should seek to modify the order that grants visitation. However, procedures vary from state to state and it is VERY IMPORTANT that you not take legal advice from Yahoo posters. . . anyone qualified to give such advice will not do so (ethical violation) and thus you really shouldn’t rely on any substantive advice here.
I’m not sure what state you are in but legal aid generally will only represent the defendant in a case like this. I encourage you to find and contact the law school nearest to you; they often have clinics where you can get excellent representation and the guidelines are often more flexible re: who they can represent.
Best of luck to you!
Even though you are representing yourself go to court and make them aware of the warrants against your wife and what her living situation is and try to get the visitation order amemded.